New Book

If you are looking for all the other posts, they are now in my new book: “An Englishwoman in Algeria: The Darkness and the Light,” available world-wide on Amazon right now.,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch




A Winter’s Tale

“O, wind, if winter comes, can spring be far behind?”

– Percy Bysshe Shelley

“I don’t think it’s coming, do you?”

The snow was falling slowly, but so thickly that it almost obscured the view. Stamping our feet and rubbing our hands together to try and keep the blood circulating in our extremities, Helen, my mother and I, muffled up in duffel coats, woolly hats and scarves, were standing at the rear entrance of Manchester Exchange Station, waiting anxiously for the Sheffield bus to arrive.

The paved area outside the station looked like an unfinished painting, with much of the canvas still perfectly white, as if waiting for the artist to take up his paintbrush again. The snow on the paving stones glittered like white crystals in the murky morning light. Whenever I looked up I felt almost as though I were flying upward to the sky rather than watching the flakes fall, like oversized confetti, towards me.

We had set off from Blackpool earlier that morning in high spirits. I honestly can’t remember which university vacation it was, but it must have been early 1966 as I had already left my miserable digs on the outskirts of the city, and joined Helen in her freezing loft rooms, a stone’s throw from the University campus, and, what was even more important in our eyes, just a couple of streets away from the flat shared by T and S.

We had been back in Blackpool a week or so and were already bored. We were young enough and selfish enough to think only of ourselves and not of our parents’ pleasure in having us home. Blackpool seemed so tacky and down-at-heel, with its Kiss Me Quick hats and end-of-pier shows. No serious theatrical tradition, just variety shows. No intellectual life at all, we would pontificate to anyone willing to listen. We were increasingly impatient to return to our exciting and challenging life in Sheffield in general, and in particular, to the intoxicating company of two foreign students.

So we had concocted an excuse to go back for a day or two, under the guise of a guided tour of the city for my mother, who had never been to Sheffield. Mum, always up for any kind of adventure, readily agreed. My mother had even been known to hop on a bus to Preston at the end of the road, indulge in an afternoon’s window-shopping there, and then catch the bus back — with my father being none the wiser. He would simply remark that her walk had taken longer than expected.

That morning we had woken up to a light dusting of snow, but that was not going to put us off our mission — and our hidden agenda.  We caught a red Ribble double-decker bus going to Manchester and arrived there without any mishap, but that was the easy part of the journey. We then plodded through the snow to Exchange Station, just opposite the bus station.

It may seem strange now to think of the terminus of the bus link between two major northern cities being a simple bus stop in a railway station back yard, but it did not seem unusual to us at the time. But it was always with a certain amount of apprehension that we would climb on board the shabby fifties-vintage blue and cream single-decker buses, which would then set off in the direction of Sheffield, wheezing and groaning their way over Snake Pass.


The stop for refreshments on this teeth-rattling journey had been an isolated inn somewhere on the top of Snake Pass, with nothing around for miles but clumps of scree and rocky outcrops; nothing to see but the fog creeping in, shrouding everything in a thick white veil,  and nothing to hear but the wind whistling mournfully around the dripping eaves of the pub.

But now, we would have given anything to have seen the snub nose of the Sheffield bus, with its old–fashioned radiator grill, coming in through the gates of the station. There was no notice pinned to the post of the bus stop — no information at all. We waited and waited. We began to lose all track of time— had we been waiting for minutes or for hours?

The biting cold had chilled our fingers into clumsy numbness, seeped into our toes and spread painfully, as if it were our bare feet on the icy white ground instead of our boots. Our lips turned blue and our teeth chattered like castanets, the wind poking us with icy fingers and wrapping itself around us like a shawl woven from the snow itself.

Finally, we were forced to admit that the Sheffield bus was not coming. Snake Pass had obviously been blocked by snow, as it often was during the winter months. The only route eastwards to Sheffield was by rail. Making our way to the main road, ankle-deep in snow, we found a taxi rank and a driver willing to brave the blizzard and take us across Manchester to Piccadilly Station, where, luckily, we found the trains for Sheffield still running.

We climbed on board the next train with a sigh of relief, not least because the heating was on full blast. When the speeding train emerged from Woodhead Tunnel with a strident blast of its whistle, our mouths dropped open with astonishment. It seemed as though we were no longer in the West Riding of Yorkshire, but had been magically transported to Switzerland. A thick blanket of snow lay on the branches of every tree and the hills, their peaks wreathed in cloud, rolled away from us in wintry grandeur.

One thought, however, preoccupied us. We had sent a telegram the day before announcing our arrival at Pond Street bus station. Would our boyfriends realise that the buses weren’t running and second-guess our decision to take the train instead? Would they know at which one of Sheffield’s stations the Manchester trains arrived?

sheffield victoria station.jpg

We emerged from Sheffield Victoria station into a chaos of whirling snow. Sliding down the slope and crossing the main road, we saw two muffled figures trudging towards us. S’s wide grin could be seen above his faculty scarf, and T’s half-smile was the only indication of his relief at finding us. They took charge of Mum, shepherding her along the pavement, with T’s arm solicitously around her in case she slipped on the ice. She looked back at me, her eyes wide with delighted surprise  — she was already succumbing to their charm. I had had no worries on that score — Algerians, at least at that time,  were naturally respectful to their elders.

A quick tour of the Union, lunch there and an afternoon spent at their flat in front of the gas fire saw the hours slip quickly by. How could we manage to have some time alone? Helen and I ushered Mum back to our loft rooms, installing her in my bed — the more comfortable of the two — made her a cup of tea, switched the electric fire on and made sure she had a plentiful supply of magazines. Then, trying to keep our faces straight, we told her we were just slipping out for a while and we’d be back soon. Mum gave me what can only be described as an “old-fashioned” look, but nodded her head resignedly. My mother was nobody’s fool.

We returned to our digs around midnight and crept into Helen’s bed, trying not to make too much noise and wake Mum. Nudging each other in glee at the success of our plan, we were overcome by a fit of the giggles. Suddenly we heard a small voice coming from the direction of the other bed, saying plaintively, “I feel exactly like a child being sent to bed early, while the grown-ups go out gallivanting!”

She had never spoken a truer word.

Scan.jpegT, on the left, S on the right. with another Algerian friend on Glossop Road in winter

The Grand Tour

(The Grand Tour) served as an educational rite of passage.

– Wikipedia

The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. – St. Augustine

“Tu ne peux pas te taire, oui? Tu commences à me porter sérieusement sur les nerfs!” (Can’t you shut up? You’re really starting to get on my nerves!)

T glowered at his friend, Mus, who was dancing along the pavement, snapping his fingers and singing off-key snatches of the latest American hit. To make things worse, he was slapping his thighs in time to the music in his head, the persistent, maddening thump-thump grating on T’s already frayed nerves.  Mus was a little tipsy, having already consumed a few beers with their frugal lunch, and the alcohol had gone straight to his head.

Not that he needed much encouragement. With an irrepressibly volatile nature, as quick to laughter as he was to anger, Mus was the best, and the worst, of travelling companions. Kamel, the third member of the group, plodded along stoically in his friends’ wake, saying nothing. They were searching, as usual, for the nearest youth hostel — by far the cheapest place to stay.

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T on the left and Mus in Marseilles

It was the summer of 1964 and the three friends had decided to head off on a tour of Europe during their university vacation. Two years after independence, and after seven years of brutal war and decades of repression, they were still savouring their new-found freedom. The year before, they had taken a battered old Peugeot 403 and, with two other friends, had gone on a road trip to western Algeria, taking in Oran, Arzew and Tlemcen.

Before independence, any absence from home had to receive prior approval from the colonial authorities, so they had never been out of Algiers before, except for T on his journeys back to his home village in Kabylie.  Kamel had never ventured further than Fort de l’Eau and its famous ice-cream parlours.

Their road trip had been such a resounding success than they decided to go further afield during their next vacation and explore southern Europe. So the three young men embarked on the ferry heading for Marseilles, a new continent and new experiences.

Arriving the next day in the oldest city in France, after an uncomfortable night spent on deck, they gazed at their surroundings with bleary eyes. For one moment, they had the impression that they were still in Algiers. There were the same peeling buildings along the quayside, clustered together like old friends reassured by their closeness, the same sun beating down, the same salty breeze, the same weatherbeaten faces.

Just like their home city, the Vieux Port was full of creaking boats, bobbing and tugging on their moorings. Gulls filled the air with the beating of their wings and their squawking cries, homing in on the catch of the day that, silver scales to the sun, was displayed on tables laid along the quayside. Behind the sea wall locals sat at the cafes, eating fish, drinking wine, smiling broadly and laughing. The only difference seemed to be that instead of the neo-Byzantine curves of Notre Dame d’Afrique looking down benevolently on the teeming city below, it was Notre Dame de la Garde, crowned with its flashy golden statue and perched on its rocky peak.

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T, on the right, and Mus outside the YMCA in Berne

After spending a day or two exploring Marseilles, they then continued their Grand Tour by train; visiting, in succession, Lyon, Geneva, Lausanne, Berne, Stuttgart, Munich, Locarno, Milan, Monaco, Nice, and Cannes.  It was really a case of, “If this is Tuesday, it must be Lausanne.” They wanted to cram as much sightseeing as possible into their holiday, barely spending more than twenty-four hours in one place before moving on. The downside was that all the towns and cities soon merged into a blur of buildings, train stations and endless miles of pavement.

Unfortunately as well, T had taken to heart well-meaning advice warning him about Europe’s cold and rainy climate, and so had filled a large suitcase with thick sweaters, scarves, cardigans and  warm jackets — just in case. In fact, so full was his suitcase that he had forgotten other items that he really needed — like swimming shorts.

Of course, these warm winter clothes were useless in the sweltering summer heat of southern Europe, and so the bulky suitcase became the albatross around T’s neck, always having to be manhandled off and on trains and carried along for miles in the baking heat in their search for the nearest YMCA hostel. This is why T, sweaty and tired, had shouted irritably at Mus, who was sashaying along the road, humming to himself and swinging his small bag around without a care in the world.

As Mus and Kamel refused to take turns in carrying the cumbersome suitcase, T’s first task on arriving at a new destination was to find a luggage locker in which to stow it. He would then pick it up again when they returned to the railway station to embark on the next leg of their journey. It was like going on holiday with a wardrobe.

Scan 6.jpeg

T, on the left, and Kamel in Lausanne

T also had a small backpack that he carried over his shoulder, its age-thinned and frayed straps digging into his flesh, but he was afraid to put it down. Everything of importance was in there. His brand-new Algerian passport and the little money he’d scraped together. Except of course, the hundred-franc note he had hidden in his shoe —just in case.

Filling their stomachs with the breakfast included in the price of an overnight stay at the hostel, they would exist for the rest of the day on bread bought from the nearest bakery, stuffed with tuna or sliced meat, and a few pieces of fruit filched from the breakfast table. On this meagre diet and with the miles covered each day on foot, they began to lose weight rapidly. They were not overweight, anyway, except for Kamel, whose slight chubbiness just added to his charm. They began to look gaunt, their cheekbones jutting out and their arms becoming stringy and sinewy — especially T’s, which, thanks to the suitcase, must have grown an extra two centimetres in length.

The only mishap that occurred was an overzealous immigration official confiscated T’s French identity card, saying he didn’t need it anymore, now that he had an Algerian passport. I don’t know whether this was within his remit, but there was still a great deal of simmering resentment amongst some sectors of the French public about Algeria’s independence.

The three friends spent the best part of a month in each other’s company, with hardly a cross word until, once safely on the ferry home, T drew out the hidden hundred-franc note and flourished it under his friends’ noses. “Quoi???? (What?) they spluttered, launching themselves at him and punching any part of him they could reach. “On crevait la dalle, alors que tu avais cent francs cachés dans ta chaussure!” (There we were, starving to death, while you had a hundred francs hidden in your shoe!)

Their arms around each other’s shoulders, they leaned against the rail at the stern of the ferry, watching the buildings of Marseilles disappear from view and the creamy white wake churning behind them. With a plaintive cry, the last few seagulls finally wheeled away and headed back towards land. Little did T know at that moment that he would be back on European soil in less than two months’s time — this time in Britain.

Scan 4.jpeg

Climbing the stairs of the family villa, dragging his suitcase behind him, he raised his hand to knock at the door. It opened slowly, and his mother’s warm, loving face was revealed. The smile changed into a puzzled frown as she looked at the gaunt stranger standing on her doorstep. “Ambwa khetchini?” (Who are YOU?) she asked suspiciously.

Thenek!” (It’s ME!) replied T., stunned, realising she hadn’t recognised the new skinny version of her son. Clapping her hands to her cheeks in dismay, she grabbed  him, dragged him inside and sat him down at the table while she rushed to the kitchen to find him something to eat. Losing weight to her was a cardinal sin. It meant you were mortally ill — or worse.

An Algerian in England

Regarde, Étranger, vers cette île
que la lumière bondissante révèle pour ton délice.

Look, stranger, on this island now
The leaping light for your delight discovers

-W.H. Auden

“So —  you don’t like mechanical engineering? It’s either that, or you go home. Your choice.”

T. drew his brows together in consternation. He was sitting in a room in the Sheffield University Students’ Union, across the desk from a representative from the British firm, CJB (Constructors John Brown). He glanced at the man sitting opposite him, then out of the window at the dreary day outside.

Rain was slanting across the slate-grey sky like glittering strands of Christmas tinsel, and the trees, lashed by the wind, were bending their sodden canopies almost to the ground. All the people scurrying along the pavements seemed to have black umbrellas. So different from Algiers, where the sun was like a shimmering yellow diamond, flooding the city with light.

If he went home now, he would lose a whole year, as he could not start a new course at Algiers University in December. He had already lost a lot of time, striking for over a year in 1958 on FLN orders, and then wasting a few months after independence preparing for a specialised mathematics course (Math. Spé),  cancelled later in an arbitrary decision by the fledging Algerian government.

He had then embarked on the first year of a university course in Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry. But the years were passing and here he was, at twenty-three years of age, with no qualifications as yet, except for a few certificates. His mind made up, he turned resolutely back to the CJB representative. “All right -— put me down for a mechanical engineering degree,” he said.

Two months earlier, back in Algeria, a friend had excitedly shown him an advertisement in the Alger Soir newspaper. It said that a newly-formed national oil and gas company called SONATRACH was looking for English-speaking undergraduates to train as engineers and accountants in Britain, which had been chosen because the first Algerian oil pipeline, from Hassi Messaoud to Arzew, was to be laid by CJB.

T disliked most of the engineering subjects — thermodynamics, strength of materials, industrial drawing and so on — he was a mathematician and liked his maths pure.  None of this applied maths rubbish. He had, however, thoroughly enjoyed the two weeks spent in London during which his level of English had been assessed. It had been considered good enough for him to  go straight up to Sheffield to begin attending lectures.

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T in Regents Park during his first week in Britain

T thought to himself that he could just about manage to overcome his distaste for mechanical engineering if it meant staying in Britain. He had been agreeably surprised by the total lack of racism shown towards him there, especially after so many years of being considered a second-class citizen in his own country. In fact, it was simply due to the fact that the British knew absolutely nothing about Algeria or Algerians (they still don’t). A few of the more enlightened had read articles in the newspapers about an Algerian revolution, but that was all.

The description “French-Algerian” had been used so often by the media reporting on the situation in the then French Algeria, that most people only retained the first part. The result was that the Algerian students were considered as French – slightly more exotic than your average Frenchman perhaps, but French nonetheless. It also helped that T already looked the part.

The second agreeable surprise was that English girls seemed very attracted to T’s combination of long-lashed dark eyes, broad shoulders and lazy, knowing smile — as I was to be a year later. His success with the girls went slightly to his head, and during his first year, he was never without some enraptured female student or other hanging on his arm. It was the swinging sixties, and life had never seemed more carefree and exciting. So much so, that he failed his first year exams. In fact, all the Algerian students failed.

For T., however, it was like a cold shower. How could he have let himself forget his main reason for going to Britain? He revised all summer, re-sat his exams in September, passing this time with flying colours, and was the only one amongst his friends to be admitted to the second year. Everyone else happily repeated their first year. The wiliest amongst them failed practically every year, thus doubling their time in Britain.

Of course, there were downsides to student life in Britain in the sixties. The series of dismal digs and unwelcoming landladies was a given for any student at the time, but it proved especially difficult for a group of young men coming from a warm and cosy family life in a Mediterranean country.

T. had to get used to his elderly landlady knocking peremptorily on his door at seven o’clock on Sunday mornings in order to empty the gas meter. He would sit there in bed, blankets drawn up to his chin, whilst she bent over with a groan to reach the meter cupboard and start emptying out the coins into a bowl. Once she had discovered a franc amongst the shillings and he received a telling-off for his pains. Difficult to maintain your dignity when you are crouching on your bed, unshaven and bleary-eyed.

And then there was the food. I have already mentioned T’s difficulties in finding anything remotely appealing in the English meals on offer at the time. Soon, however, he was to discover hot English puddings – especially delicious when drowned in custard.  They compensated for the rest of the meal. He enjoyed the jovial company of his fellow Algerian students, the outings to various Sheffield nightclubs,  dancing at the regular Union hops, his judo training sessions and weekly trips to the cinema.

One of these outings traumatised him so badly, however,  that he still talks about it fifty years later. He had gone with some friends to see a horror film called Black Sabbath on one of their regular visits to the cinema. As coincidence would have it, I had seen the same film around the same time at our local Odeon in Blackpool. I was still in the sixth form and, with two classmates, had formed a trio of giggling schoolgirls, eating our vanilla ice-cream out of small cardboard tubs and shrieking happily at the scariest moments.

T, however, did not have quite as much fun. Around midnight, he and his group of friends had left the cinema and were making their way home, laughing and joking, along the dark streets of Sheffield. One by one they peeled off as they reached their individual digs. T had suddenly found himself alone.

He looked around him apprehensively.  Leaves scurried along the path and the breeze became keener, raising goose pimples  on his arms.The bushes and trees on each side of the street were silhouettes — the blackest of greens. The pavement stretched ahead, lit only by pools of light from the street-lamps. The wind suddenly died down, the leaves ceased to rustle, even the rumble of traffic was absent. The usual friendly scattering of stars was completely obscured by dense clouds swirling like spilled black ink in water. The occasional hoot of a hidden owl was the only sound to permeate the silence.

He sprinted the last few yards to the front door of his digs. It didn’t help that the stone-built house was dark and Victorian, with Gothic arched windows, steep gables and carved corbels. It was like entering Dracula’s castle. Fumbling slightly, he managed to put the key in the lock and turn it. Rushing into his ground-floor room, he double-locked his door, quickly undressed in the freezing cold, and dived under the bedcovers — scant protection, you would think, against a bloodthirsty vampire.

His gaze fixed fearfully on the dark rectangle of the window. No shutters — no curtains to shut out the night. At any moment, he was expecting to see the waxy face of Boris Karloff, blood dripping from his fangs, pressed against the glass.

An overactive imagination can sometimes be a bad thing.


New Edition

Hello everybody!

I have decided to amalgamate the two books into one because I found people were buying the first book more than the second. I would like to thank everybody who bought EITHER of my books, but one book is only half the story. So here goes. It is slightly more expensive than the others, but the new full-length book cost less than buying the two books separately. For those of you who have already bought the first book, the second one will still be available for a while. Thank you so much for supporting me. By the way, they are available on Amazon worldwide, not just in the UK.

Three Men in a Flat


University of Sheffield in the sixties

“Well, what do you think of that, eh, Wendy? I did a good job there, didn’t I?” S, one of T’s flatmates, was standing in the doorway of the living-room, brandishing a kettle and glowing with pride. I  had been sitting on the sofa, reading a book, when he burst in. The work for my English Literature course  at university consisted mainly of reading, reading and more reading, relieved by a little light essay writing. What do you do when your tutor tells you that you have to read and analyse ALL of Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets, memorise lengthy soliloquies and commit to heart every tiny detail about his sources, his publishing history and his private life? And that was only one subject amongst many. Continue reading